When You Will Look Back

Have you ever thought about what your life now will look like when you look back on it 2o years from now? Imagine how stupid you will think all the things that you care so much about now will seem. I mean really. Do you really think that you will care then whether or not you wore makeup to school, or about that obnoxious girl who won't fucking SHUT UP?

But besides even the things you will find stupid. What about the things that you will see as important, like the friends you made? How many of your current friends do you think you are only friends with because you see them 5 times a week? This really gets to me, because even moving from middle school to high school, I saw these kinds of changes. And yes, I know how insignificant middle school is to even mention, but it is the most recent experience with change I have, so it is significant in my life now. My very best friend in middle school went to a different high school than me, and I am sad to say we have barely spoken since. And by barely spoken, I mean a total of 2 emails have gone between us since 8th grade graduation and that is it. Nothing else. Isn't that crazy? I went 4+ years having her be the one I would tell things to and spend all my time with and now the most I have talked to her in 2 years is one email I sent her, in response to one she sent me. This gets to me because now, in high school, I would like to think that I am making lifelong friendships, but who knows how many of these friendships are just obligatory based on how often we see each other? I personally have difficulty with keeping up talking to people if I don't see them often, but I have managed to keep up some friendships with people I don't go to school with over the years. Even still, it is terrifying to think that once again, in a couple years, the ones who I currently feel as though I can't live without will no longer be a part in my life.

So, to all the readers and maybe the future me if I ever read this later in life when it is relevant, I want you to think about all the close friends you had, here in 2015 , and how many of them you are still in touch with. Also, try and picture what you will see as important, or worthwhile and try to do that stuff. I mean, obviously do what you want now too, but don't waste your time on dumb stuff you don't even like now and that you know you won't wish you had done later in life.

But yeah. Just more of my worrying about the future. Hope you enjoyed reading.